Sunday, 7 October 2007

Give us a tena

There's a jolly gaggle of 'older' ladies who frequent the ladies' gym club I go to. One of them obviously lives near me as I see her regularly in Sainsbury's and 'down the town'. She's easy enough to spot as she wears great big sunglasses whatever the weather and always has a smile on her face.

The other day she burst into the 'stretching area' just as I was working on my quads, charged up to one of her cronies and blustered: "Guess what! The incontinence lecture is on my birthday!"

'What a great line!' I chortled to myself immediately wanting to share it with others (well, my mum found it amusing) and wondering how I could work it into a blog.

Hat's off to that lady, I say. There's no way I could be so carefree and public about slack bladder control. In fact there's no way that I would pay the £2 to attend the incontinence lecture. That would be admitting that I have a problem with my pelvic floor.

OK, so I can't go on the trampoline, run or go to my gym without a little protection, but it's only at certain times of the month and that's normal isn't it after having two kids?

In my more sanguine moments I do realise that I should have been more diligent about doing my pelvic floor exercises. In ante-natal classes the midwife suggested that we put red dots all over the house and whenever we saw a red dot, we should give it a quick squeeze. "Red dots!" I mocked, joshing merrily with the other mums. "Imagine explaining all those dots in your house to a guest!" But if I hadn't larked about and quipped about silly routines and bossy midwives, perhaps I wouldn't be paying the price now.

Every now and then, I get a bit worried and embark on a pelvic strengthening campaign, but I can never keep it up. Friends in the same boat are full of helpful suggestions. One told me to squeeze it in whenever I run water, another to do it whenever I'm at a set of traffic lights. I've had a go at all of these - plus trying to 'hold it in' mid-flow - but after a day or so, I forget again.

One day I will probably really regret my feebleness (in both senses of the word) and unless I find some full-proof routine which doesn't leave me feeling a complete nana I'm going to have to take out shares in the feminine hygiene industry.

9 comments:

Mid-lifer said...

D'oh! Apologies to Belle - I've just realised I haven't done the book thingy she tagged me for...remind me Belle and I'll do it next time.

belle said...

No worries mid-lifer, I shall just hound you until you do ;o)

As for pelvic floors, well, what can I say ... being a bossy midwife in a former life has left pelvic floors close to my heart - midwifes are not that good at general anatomy and physiology ... I used to use a road I drove down on my way to work as the signal to start my pelvic floor exercises. Which was all fine and dandy until I stopped working ...

Casdok said...

I gorget to do my PFE to! Glad to hear im not the only one!!

debio said...

As my daughter was delivered by caesarian section I thought it unnecessary to do the PFE's!

Every cloud has a silver lining, i suppose.....

Tina said...

I had a C-section too. But I still think my pelvic floor needs underpinning...

Mid-lifer said...

Me too Tina! I think that you might need a rethink on the PF matter debio (hint, do them every time you're in a traffic jam.!)

Swearing Mother said...

Use it or lose it girls! If you want to have an affair or smuggle drugs, you need to maintain taughtness in those "down there" areas, so altogether now SQUEEZE.

My midwife, many many moons ago, told me to do my pelvic floor exercises whilst I was standing at the sink, peeling spuds. All very well, but now I am the world's laziest slut when it comes to cooking (and food shopping for that matter)I just boil the things with their skins on, so now what? Will just have to give up sneezing and/or coughing instead.

Mid-lifer said...

Am squeezing as I type swearing mother!

Yes, forgot the hazard of sneezing. better get onto the exercises before winter sets in.

Who on earth bothers to peel spuds??

Motheratlarge said...

I don't do my pelvic floors half as much as I should - and I had a difficult time with daughter's birth, (will spare you details) so really should be SQUEEZING TIGHT. Never mind. Like you, I'm doing them as I type. I did notice an improvement in bedroom sensation (sorry to be coy) when I did them a lot for a while. Then I got lazy again. Like you, I didn't go to all my ante-natal classes either and feel I really paid the price in not knowing to refuse an epidural, which might have been what led to the assisted delivery etc. etc.