Friday, 2 January 2009

Dad II

My dad tried to take his own life recently - twice. He told us he had had enough, I understood why, but it was hard to let go. I said I still needed him: he had always been an important figure for me. While I had needed to act more as a parent to my mum, supporting her when my dad left, my dad was the adult I turned to for guidance and advice.

He didn't succeed, and selfishly, I'm glad. I have him around for a bit longer. But I realise now that of course, I'm old enough to make decisions without his input. I haven't relied on his advice for many a year. His life is plagued by his Parkinsons and frequent infections and he sees no point prolonging it. He has said he will wait for nature to take its course. I hope for him that it's soon, but not before we (all four of his children and his five grandchildren) go to celebrate his birthday later this month.

Hang on in there Dad. We love you.